Last night's double elimination on Dancing With the Stars provided the perfect opportunity for Weepy, Grumpy, and Dopey to use their special ''name of couple'' sparkly paddles for the second night in a row...and also to revive their faux-dramatic ULTIMATE DECIDERS roles from the Ballroom Kids competition of seasons past. Ballroom kid Melissa Joan Hart was eliminated first, to zero fanfare. I think her crazy two-toned eye shadow last night and Mark's perma-pissed facial expression for the past few weeks are what I'll remember most about this couple, though Mark would prefer we remember their Charleston. That left Louie Vito and Michael Irvin to compete in a dance-off with 30-second routines they'd learned the same morning, then get chastised for not putting more preparation into the dances. Shut up, judges! I was actually surprised that the Paddles of Pre-Determinism ended up stacked in Michael Irvin's favor considering the air of overwhelming indifference with which they've treated him this season, but maybe they just feared for Chelsie's life after Louie dropped her twice Monday night. So it's bye-bye to Louie, then, and bye-bye to his final aerial trick about a split second too soon. The harsh cut away from the full-twisting back flip off the technicolor platform is always the deepest.
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